As seems to be the case as of late, I have been absent for a decent length of time. I'm really hoping that, when I finish my final class with school this month, that my "free time" for writing will increase and my stress level will decrease! Now that I'm down to one class though, I'm at least finding my days slightly more manageable then they have been in the past year.
Anyway.. I'm not here to go on about school. Honestly I'd rather not think about it constantly (even though I normally do).
So I have decided, finally decided,that is time for me to step down from my circle. There is finally someone there who is willing and able to take the circle over. I have not confided any of this in the rest of the circle, as I don't want to deal with the - "we don't want to loose you nonsense." The transition will take place around Samhain, as something in my brain is telling me that that is the appropriate time for this. I had an interesting chat with Isis, in regarded to my path and, oddly enough, my name. In the years that have passed since we did the magical name ritual, I have come to realize that who I am is no longer who I was and the name I was given is no longer my own. I was asking Isis about it, when I would know what my name was to become, as a priestess to multiple goddess, and where to go with these new changes. She, in her eloquent way, told me that I would not discover my new name until I freed myself from the role that was no longer mine to have and doing nothing more than holding me back from where I am meant to be. So, yeah, that is where I am at now. In addition to that, I have found myself as a part of a circle in Boise, one was started by a wonderful old crone who left another group after seeing what a load of crapola they were trying to pass off as a goddess path. The two of us and two other women are the whole group, and it is so wonderful and empowering to work with these ladies who are true to themselves and their craft instead of being bogged down by those who are content to be stagnant in their spirituality and more concerned about who has the better story, the funnier joke, or whatever. We typically meet twice a month, once for coffee, talk, and a "business meeting" and again at the end of the month for a goddess ritual. Last month we had a ritual with the goddess Juno, and next month we will be working with the goddess Oya. It's so wonderful and I feel so at home there, something I haven't felt at the base circle in a very long time. I've watched myself become more recluse with each passing month, and I don't like that... It shouldn't be that way, and wouldn't be if I thought circle was of any spiritual benefit anymore. I can say I'm looking forward to Samhain. And to answer a question I'm sure you've wondered at, no, I will not be going back to the circle for any reason. Should the new leader need advise or counsel, that is one thing, but I Will not go back t be a member to the circle after spending the past two years running it, loving it, and hating it.
Now, I'm not trying to bash the circle here, just that it is simply no longer my place. It happens. It will be hard, to be sure, but it is also necessary.
Just thought I would share this!
Brightest Blessings to you all!