Thursday, March 22, 2012

Tonight I Write...

Ok folks- I was sitting outside and the words just came... 

Tonight I write for me, for you, for the world at large.
A single Soul on the Earth,
Is like living as one among the stars.
Every Soul encountered touches us in someway.
Be it good or bad,
Let it be a lesson just the same.
Some will come and stay,
Others merely passing through.
Always remember with fondness,
Those that have meant something to you.
When it is time to part ways,
Let it be in peace.
For you never know the true path
And the ultimate grand scheme of things.
Let the memory of the good be forever in your keep,
Take the feelings of the bad and lay them to rest in peace.
Life is too short to wonder why,
Always looking behind.
In doing so you cheat yourself,
Of all the greatness still to find.
Next time you sit beneath the stars,
A solitary Soul in this big world of ours,
Remember the choice in how to live
Is yours and yours alone.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Staying impassive when your heart cries

I've spent the last week learning a hard lesson... and it's one that had the potential to ruin something very beautiful. In my desire to protect and defend those that I love, I crossed a line that was not mine to cross. I planned, crafted and weaved some of the most amazing magic of my life, never thinking that what I was doing would be rendered entirely useless, and with the capability to be..... slightly detrimental, because the situation changed very dramatically and suddenly. Then, when it was... somewhat... brought to my attention (I didn't have all the details yet, which made that moment MUCH worse than it had to be), I opened my mouth and didn't think about the words being said until it was too late and the damage was done. The result? A few steps backwards and sideways... not a place I wanted to be... Ever. Now, after spending a weekend stuck in my own head and, quite frankly, being very worried and scared, I have come to re-realize something that I've always known and have always hoped to keep hidden. It is very hard for me to stay impassive and let things be/go when I'm in a hard situation with people I care about... While it is too late to repair some of the damage I've already done, it is not too late to learn, step back, and readress in another way. The hardest thing... I will have to remember to hear my heart without jumping into immediate action. It's a hard wall to put up, especially when it was a wall I willing let go of with the specific individual involved. But, I see now, that some walls, no matter how close a relationship (be it friendship, teacher/student, husband/wife, etc.) must remain in place, at least with certain situations... not only for the well being of the other person, but for the well being of the self. That is not to say that things will be hidden and/or denied, but it does mean that my tendancy to immediately vocalize will become more inwardly pensive before anything comes blurting out without good thought, and that I will (do my best) to not allow my emotions to rule me.. and that's saying someone for me, as the first 5 houses in my astrology chart are all Cancer. Beautiful, I know. LOL!

Anyway. I just needed to get that out there and off my chest.

My Promise to You (should you ever read this):
I will maintain the distance that is necessary until time allows otherwise... I will not garuntee that it will be easy, and that I won't ever put my foot in my mouth again, but damn if I won't do my best. I've asked for your patience before, and I ask again. I am only human.. and even with the work I've done to learn and know, I am CERTAINLY no where near perfect, and prone to make mistakes just as much as any other person- probably more than normal when it is an emotionally charged situation. I'm ready for one day at a time.... for as long as that takes.

It may be a path that is rocky, narrow, winding and steep at times, but I have faith of making it to the top as a team...

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Under the Light of the Moon

Tonight, as I sat outside enjoying a few solitary and quiet moments of 'me time' I felt the urge to write- something that has avoided me like the plague here recently. So, join me in my moments of reflection while I sit on my front steps...
I sat down on my porch, looking up as I do every night to note the stars, the phase and course of the moon and the night air surrounds me. I realize that the moon is brighter tonight than it has been in awhile- most likely due to the beautifully warm day we had, followed by this cold and clear night. Looking at the moon, and seeing the way that it illuminates the earth around me, I see. I see that how the moon grows is how I find myself each day, and the way it lights things up tonight is a reflection of my own growing sight. With each passing day I see more, and have to wonder "what if" less. I am claiming myself and my gifts.The darkness is my friend, but the light of  the moon is a gift... As I sit and see, I note that my neighbors across the street have a candle burning in one of the bedrooms. It made me wonder if perhaps someone was enjoying a quiet moment of self reflection like me... or are they perhaps casting a spell or enjoying the touch of a lover? Who knows. The beauty of the moment is seeing the flame of the candle shine through the curtains that are used to shield ones-self from the outside world. Everyone's light shines through at some point. Then I look out at the house of the neighbor next to them- her front porch always reflects the colors and symbols of whatever holiday is approaching. Even now I smile at the bright green shamrock that is lighting her front window and the green light bulb in her porch light. She is always happy whenever I see her... perhaps she truly feels the lively spirit of each holiday as each holiday comes in and again departs.

Tonight is blissfully quiet.

The coming full moon is going to be potent I think.. I hope that everyone has a magical week in the days that lead to it.


Where to start.....

-- I don't know why this post disappeared, but its actually from mid-February!

The last few weeks have been exceedingly busy, but immensely enjoyable. Imbolc brought forth a very enjoyable, and quite informative meditation with Brigid. However, those details are messages for others, and it would not be right to share them here. The night of the full moon was beyond amazing, even if it was upset slightly about news of a friend diagnosed with bone cancer. I spent the morning making a candle- one like no other I have ever made. It was red, dark pink, and light pink (though the light pink SHOULD have been white, but no worries!) and contains several stones.

Even as I started working on that, I could feel the house humming and singing with the energy that was building. That night, I built a fire, lit my candles and turned on the drumming music for dance. It was a potent night that left me feeling fulfilled and accomplished, as I was able to charge the candle as well as send out the healing and peace energies that my friends needed desperately that night. It, in short, was beautiful and powerful.
I spent Friday night learning, which was a nice change from teaching, and today I feel like a new person. I spent today traveling and exploring the middle of no where with a friend, spending a good majority of that time walking by a river. There was a triangle of trees there that was exceptionally powerful, and I found myself climbing one of the trees to leave an offering for whatever it is that resides there. Though much of the area felt lonely, it wasn't a sad loneliness, but one of pensive solitude. We picked up several stones while there, all of different colors, shapes and sizes, and all of which spoke in different ways for different reasons. At one of our other stops, which was at a gorge that was immensely deep and lined with a river along the bottom, we happened to see (i.e. we had the shit scared out of us by) a sage hen. Apparently seeing them out there is a rarity, which means that it was a lucky day for us! Really, it was a simple and beautiful day spent in the wide open with someone that I didn't have to worry about forcing conversation with or feeling silly around as I let some of my eccentric ways run wild! I love being outside and completely away from civilization. It gave my time to enjoy my own thoughts and to be close to the mother without having to run around after the kiddo or worry about the general population interrupting me.

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful weekend, and that you are feeling blessed!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

A comment that made my night

This, for most, may seem like a random post. For those of you who know or can guess at how I feel about my numerous tattoos, this will probably make a bit more sense... =)

So, last night, I was over at a friends house having a play date night with all of our kids together enjoying pizza, brownies and mani/pedi time. I happened to be wearing a tank top, despite the chill, because it never fails that a house full of four kids under the age of 10 gets pretty damn hot quickly. On these nights, my friend and I also use our time to develop skills that are being newly discovered for them, such as telepathy as well as working on setting up a meditation time and developing that ability more fully. At some point during that time, I was laying still, grounding myself, and my friend came up to me and ran their finger over the violet tattoo on my shoulder. For my readers that have looked back through past postings, you'll see that I got that tattoo last March in memory of my grandmother who passed away unexpectedly and in the mist of pain-filled circumstance (see this entry: A Memorial). After doing that I asked the first thing that came to mind (which is usually the case as I rarely stop to think about my words when caught off guard!) which was, "Why do you like that tattoo so much?" The reply, "Because it's just so you." The idea that this tattoo, something that was filled with both love and loss, happiness and sorrow could be seen as so right for me really struck a chord in my heart, and the comment made me immeasurably happy.

Anyway, I just thought I would share this solitary moment in my life which seems to be sticking out in my mind a lot...

Happy blogging!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Donn, Dreams, "the talk", and Tea Leaves

So, apparently I wasn't as back as I was hoping, as life is just now, FINALLY, settling back into a normal routine. Three days after Christmas, my mom, Jaelynn and I drove out to Seattle for a few days, which kicked off a series of events that I couldn't have even begun to fathom. We went out there to help a couple of my friends move, as well as take them all of Jae's old nursery stuff, as they are expecting their first child in April. Now, these friends of mine, I've known the husband since high school, and I've known them as a couple for four years now. Through our relationship, they were introduced to the "pagan" path, and have since began their own practice, working with Brigid and Odin, respectfully. On the drive out, I told my mother about their beliefs, so she wouldn't be shocked when we got there and we dealt with their altar. She took that information just fine, and we continued on our way. Our second night there, which was Thursday, December 29th, 2011 (as this date proves to be important later), she finally asked me WHY they had an altar. Well, we'll just say that that singular question sparked a whole lot of talking. Really she took it all very well. I avoided the word "witch", as she plainly admitted that she couldn't be believe witchcraft was "good". I did explain that magic isn't "evil" or "bad" but it's the intent of the person that makes it go one way or the other, as the energy itself is rather benign... Regardless, to avoid completely obliterating the progress being made, I didn't come out doing the 'I'm a Witch' dance. And, to her credit, the only time she got worried was when she asked if I still accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior and I told her no. We also had a very interesting talk about demi-gods, and she was rather... perplexed... when I claimed the Christ himself could be seen as a demi-god, as he has a divine father but a human mother... Anyway, no, I'm not opening that for debate, but it was something I threw out there for her to chew on anyway. =)

So, we came home on the 31st, and on the 1st I got a random text from my priestess and soul sister asking me who DAN (pronounced Dahn) was. we talked about it for awhile, coming to the conclusion that is was a deity, as I have no one in my life by that name. She explained that she had three dreams about me and this person and we both knew it was important. The dreams started the same night that I had the talk with my mom. Twilight Zone theme music time, right? Anyway, I prefer to keep those dreams private for the time being, but I will say that those dreams lead to me doing a very powerful meditation with Donn, the Irish god of the dead. In the time that I spent with him, I learned that because I have finally been able to free myself of restraints and be true to who I truly am, that I have become ready to begin a new journey that I was unable to take on until I had reached this point. I will be meditating with him on the dark moon for the next 3 moon cycles now, and I CAN'T WAIT!

Now, as to the tea leaves part of all the title... It's really just a little funny blurb from day, so here you go!

Until a few days ago, I had never heard of a fortune telling cup. When I heard of/saw a picture, I thought it would be totally cool to have one of those someday, for the shits and giggles if nothing else. Well, today I went to a flea market with my mom and dad and BEHOLD! I found one of those cups... It's called "The Cup of Destiny". It even came with a little book. SCORE.

Anyway... these are the special highlights of the past few weeks.. I hope you all are well!!

Many Blessings!