Friday, April 29, 2011

How is it already Friday?

Well, my time warp continues, though I can't say it's been the magical kind that I normally enjoy!

I won tickets to go see Yanni in Concert on Saturday evening. I am a HUGE Yanni fan. My biological father brought my a video of his Live at the Acropolis [VHS] concert when I was 10, and I have loved his music ever since. This will be my fourth time being able to see him live. However, with that winning comes an extra busy week. The concert is in Salt Lake City, which is about four hours away. Since I'll be gone all weekend with the concert and our Beltane celebration, I had to get a midterm, final, and research project all done by today. Yea for Senior Level Classes! On top of all that, I lost all of Tuesday to deal with VA appointments, and I've got a retirement ceremony to be part of this afternoon. Somehow, I managed to finish up my final piece last night, which ended up being an 11 page crime scene evidence collection and analysis report followed by court room testimony. Added in with a midterm exam and a five page Forensic Odontology paper, my brain is officially fried. =) Enough about that though... you guys don't want to listen to me moan about my growing amount of school work. (Only two more classes left... YES!)

This Sunday my circle will be getting together for our Beltane celebration. We will have, for the first time ever, our own May Pole. I'm SUPER excited about this. I will never forget my first May Pole Dance. It's a memory that is permanently fused in my brain. I've also gotten my hands on some great music for the celebration.  Beltane: Songs for the Green Time is a really beautiful set of music for this time of year. I would totally recommend you check it out!

Last Tuesday I had coffee with Kat. (You know, the gal I wrote about in my last  two blogs). It was really great. I think that she and I have a very interesting path to walk together... to learn from and grown with. Shortly before my coffee with her, I stopped at one of the local "Metaphysical" stores, the Crones Cupboard. It had been a few month since I had been able to stop in, so I spent some time just walking around and checking it out. I had to restock some chime candles, since I always go through my white, black, and light blue ones really fast. As I was walking, I say this really pretty necklace with a wooden pendant with a rune on it. Now, I know squat about runes... I've never been able to use them well. Tarot cards and I do much better. Anyway, as soon as I saw this piece I loved it. It made me feel happy and sung to me. I left it on the rack though, just to see what I could feel from it by the time I was done. Well, by the time I was done with everything else, I still felt a draw to it. So, I went back, grabbed it, and looked at the tag to find out what it meant. This is what the tag said, "Raidho- the letter R in the Elder Futhark, it is a Norse Rune. It is the wheel. It's meaning is: journeys, path to spiritual fulfillment, surprises, good news, change in fortune. May it help bring you to your fulfillment!" I couldn't help but laugh as I read that, knowing I would be sitting down with Kat in less than 30 minutes. The world truly is a magical place!

I must be off now, I need to finish pack for this weekend before I have to go pick up the little one from school.

Brightest blessings, and in case I don't make it on Sunday, HAPPY BELTANE!

Friday, April 22, 2011

A quick follow up to yesterday.

Well, once again- it amazes me how things always work out. Thank you Universe for knowing the right moment to deliver! Within two hours of my blog post yesterday, I got a phone call from Kat, during which time we talked about a lot of different things and set up a time to meet for coffee next Tuesday. We laughed, had a few "oh damn" moments, and it was just really nice to talk to someone about anything and everything without feeling weird, unheard, or like I might be later betrayed.

Anywho. I must dash off and get ready to head to base with the little one. I just wanted to leave a quick update!

Blessings of Light, Darkness, and All that is in between.

A must see!

Hello everyone and happy Earth Day!

My friend Kallan is hosting her very first blog give-away. It's an absolutely fantastic witch basket full of great goodies. Head over to her blog and check it out!

Brightest Blessings to you this day!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Funny how things work out...

Lately here I've been facing issues of feeling utterly alone on my path. Most days, that's a good thing, but I find that there are times when ever the teacher needs a teacher. Having begun my path as a solitary practitioner (as many of the pagan's a personally know have), I never understood the feeling and strength that comes with having a mentor. Well, when I joined my first circle back in 2007, it was more of meeting new people than meeting a teacher. However, when that circle joined with the newly formed base circle, I found a mentor and finally understood it's value. His name was Anthony and he taught me many, many thing- some new and others a re-discovery of what I had forgotten. Shortly before he moved away (good ol' military), I met a wonderful woman, Jennifer, and she became even more to me. From the get we were inseparable, even living together for awhile while the men of our lives were deployed. At any rate, Anthony left, and when he did he made the choice to change his path, which therefore, essentially, cut me out of it. It was a hard pill to swallow for a long time, and even now the loss of his friendship saddens me, but he made the choice, and it is one I must respect. Moving on... Jen and I are sisters. Truly. We can trace back to a very distant "past life" in which we were priestesses' together. We often laugh about the time she lived with me because almost every night, she would hear me turn off my shower which would be immediately followed by the sound of my scampering down the steps, which she knew meant that something had "come to me" while I was in the shower (appropriately dubbed my eureka place). Almost a year ago, she had to leave though, and moved to Washington (another military move). During our time together, I learned a lot, more than I've ever learned from one person before, and I continue to learn from her, but it's not the same as having her here. I'm sure that sounds strange, but we both have different lives now, which are lived in different areas, many many miles from each other. And no matter how much I know I can email or call her whenever and for whatever reason (or no reason at all!), it's just not the same as having someone I can sit down with over a cup of coffee and talk to, cry with, laugh with (or at.. haha), and spend time with.

This is where things get kind of funny in the cosmic 2x4 kind of way...

So, as I'm recounting all this to my hubby, and telling him that, as much as I love circle, there are times when I need someone I can talk to when I don't know or understand something too. So, he looks at me and says, "Well, why don't you call up that gal (Kat) who just did the festival to Diana? You've always liked her and talk about her with a lot of respect." Man, my hubby is smart. I waited a few days though... and not because I disliked the idea, but I had some reservations because of her being a very active part in another pagan community who, no disrespect intended, has a leader/founder than I don't agree with on many things- the biggest being what she teacher her students. That being said, to each their own, but I made the choice to keep some distance. Then, on Tuesday, I was sitting in a VA medical facility waiting for my doctor when I happened to check my email (thank goodness for the amazing power of a cell phone! LOL!). When I opened it, I saw an email from Kat saying that she was shutting down the meetup site for the circle of Diana. That afternoon, when I got home, I immediately shot her an email to find out what was going on- during which time I also explained that I had been wanting to contact her for a couple days and she'd been on my mind. I got any email from her later that night. Here is the opening part of the email-

I haven't used this email address for nearly a year.
And no matter what I did, I couldn't get away from the page.....I was truly meant to see your email tonight.
I love being a witch, and I love the way the Universe works......"

She then went on to tell me that she had left the other pagan organization and would love to get together for coffee...

Yes... Yes, it is awesome the way the Universe works. =)

I'm hoping to meet up with her next Tuesday in between appointments (yes, the VA is determined to make me work for my disability compensation).  While she does live an hour away, it's a heck of a lot closer than Washington, and when you have one of those days where you just need someone, I'll take 1 hour over 9 any day!

And that's my story on "Funny how things work out..."

More updates to follow!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Hello Nyx... We meet again!

So, in one of my recent blogs I talked about needing a representation of Nyx on my altar, and that a friend of mine who is currently in Greece will be working on obtaining a statue of her for me. I swear to you, ever since I acknowledged that both in my head, heart, and to anyone who reads this blog, she has been EVERYWHERE. I mean, HOLY CRAP! Seriously, until it all clicked into place in my head, I was starting to think that I was loosing what little is left of my marbles (mainly dust now... I have to be careful to keep a stray wind from blowing it all away....). Then, the other night as I was standing in the shower (yup, that's a major spiritually active time for me, as I don't have a million other things to distract me!) I caught a glimpse of a "human figure" out of the corner of my eye. Now, we have sliding doors on our bathtub/shower and they tend to play tricks on the eye because of the pattern on them, but this was as distinct as if the hubby had been standing in the bathroom and I was seeing him through the glass door. I actually jumped because of the startling factor, then when I looked again, the figure was slowly dispersing into the steam around me. Thing is, the "figure" was made of black, just like the black of night. Now, I know most people associate black with evil, and I can't say that that is always wrong because a dark cloud can be ominous, however, there was nothing evil about this. In fact, it was just the opposite. A loving check up, if you will. It was just a strange experience. I can't say that I'm use to goddesses just popping in to say hi. Normally I talk/ visit with them in dreams and meditations, but this was just a normal night time shower...

Anywho. I just thought it was interesting and that I would share it with you!

Monday, April 11, 2011

When it rains, it pours. Dammit.

So, let me start by saying that I will be SO glad when today is over so I can just go to bed and try again tomorrow.

From the beginning-
We had a great circle on Saturday morning. Really, it was fantastic. There were 13 people there (which is AMAZING!) and we had a wonderful time with a meditation that was a journey to Avalon. I had everybody work on "getting into the zone" while some pretty music played before the start of the meditation. During that time, I felt the desire to cast a circle, so I went for it. It was funny to tell people, when we were done, not to walk out unless they had me cut a door. Some of them were like, when did you cast a circle and others said something like ah yes, I thought I felt the wave of energy go over, around and through us. Afterwards, we sat and talked while eating cantaloupe and Cinnamon roles (YUMMY) and went over the schedule for the next few weeks. That afternoon, I had a birthday party/going away to tend to. The gal that is getting ready to leave is one of our circle members, and also the person that first started the circle we had in town before the one on base was formed. Needless to say, being around that many people and having to see one of my oldest friends here leave was emotionally, mentally and physically draining. I was more than happy to crawl into bed that night.... until 2am hit and I was awoken by a scream from my daughters room. Congrats mommy, your daughter has caught the stomach virus that has been going around! *sigh* From that point on, a "slept" (riiighhhtttt... more like laid there waiting for the next heave) next to my daughter as she got hit with the need to toss her cookies every hour. Sunday was spent in a sleep deprived, must take care of the kiddo state, Oh, did I mention that Stephen is sick also? Yeah, let's not forget that. So, I went to bed last night, hoping to get some sleep, which of course didn't happen. Jae slept so much during the day that she did a lot of tossing and turning during the night and wouldn't sleep unless I was with her. This morning, mercifully she was feeling better and wanted to go to school. As per the morning, before school routine, I brought the puppies in to feed them and noticed a cut on my boy Poe's leg. I figured that he and his sister got to playing too rough again, so I gave them their food and grabbed a piece of gauze to clean it up. When I went to apply the gauze I saw not a cut as originally thought, but a V shaped piece of skin in the area between his stomach and back leg (much like the web between our thumb and finger) had been completely torn and was just hanging there. For the second time in the past two days I was thankful I have a strong stomach. I was even more thankful that Stephen had just called me to say he was coming home to rest (rest. HA!). By this point however, I was exhausted, crying, and starting to hyperventilate because I just couldn't handle anymore.

SO, the husband got home and took Jae to school with my car as I wrapped my badly shaking and mangled dog in a blanket and took him out to the truck. Mercifully the vet it close and they were able to get him in and out in just over and hour. He was sent home with antibiotics and the cone of shame, which he only has to wear when I can't keep an eye on him or if he starts licking at his stitches.
Here is the inside of his leg, and it is identical on the other side...

You know, I was suppose to have this morning off to catch up on much needed sleep. So much for that idea. Right now, my biggest hope is that I can make it through the rest of the day in one piece and now that three hard things have come to pass, I'll be done with this madness.

Friday, April 8, 2011

For the sake of writting

So I was emailing with a friend today and had the realization that when I don't blog on a regular basis, my stress/level of distraction levels go up because of all the unnecessary clutter in my brain. Yup, I said it. BRAIN CLUTTER. Having come to this conclusion, I have decided to make a better effort to type everyday. Even it mean that I take a break from school (*gasp* I know, right). So, here I go!

I had the craziest dream back on Wednesday night, and the killer part is that I know its all true! I was leaving the building were we meet for circle, and, as usual, I was following behind everyone so I could lock up as we went. We had spent the lesson working on meditation and I was feeling GREAT! (Weird part is, that IS our lesson for this weekend... anyway...). We were all standing outside talking, and somehow we got onto the subject of flying. People were saying that flying was only possible in dreams or other realms and I remember looking at them and say no, the only this that keeps our feet planted on the ground is our own self doubt and inability to comprehend what we're capable of. So, to prove my point, I walked up to my car, climbed up to the hood, and just let go and jumped. There were some yells then a profound silence as I floated in the air, suspended by my own will and watched them collect themselves. I should point out that I didn't have "wings" but more of a opalescent shield around me. From there, I fell to my mom's house, and she didn't believe me when I told her why I didn't have the car with me, then I flew back home; that's the last thing I remember. For some reason (quite a few reasons actually) this dream was very profound to me. As it is, I rarely dream of flying, and the lesson was a strong one. We are our own worse enemy in life.
Just thought I'd share, as that dream has stuck with me all week.

Let's see.. what else...

Oh here's a fun one...
I have a girlfriend in Greece right now taking care of some military related stuff and we got to emailing back and forth the other day (I think it was yesterday morning), and she was telling me about this statue of Athena that she has acquired while on her trip. In return, I was telling her about some of my statuary (of Isis and Kuan Yin, respectively). She then asked me what statue I wanted from Greece, and she would send me one. Well, I had to stop and think about it for a bit because, while I know my Greek Mythology, I have never studied the path like I have others. So after a bit of reflection I decided on the Goddess Nyx. Now chances are that any book buff is going to jumped up and be like "Oh! She's from the House of Night Series!!" Yes, yes she is. However, while those being very good books (and with some amazing Wiccan/Pagan things in them that are accurate! Check it out here- Marked: A House of Night Novel) there is more to Nyx than what is seen in the book. As indicated by her name, she is the goddess of night, who was born of chaos, but is also the mother of light (among other things). The myth says the mother and daughter share a house together in the underworld while never seeing each other in it.
My thought behind that choice is easy. I have my goddess of light (Kuan Yin) and my goddess of balance (Isis), and it has actually been eating at me for a bit to find the prefect representation of the goddess of darkness. I could think of no better than Nyx (for me personally). My belief is that we all have a "dark" or "shadow" side that must be acknowledged, work with and through in order to start seeing our full potential in this life. My shadow side has been a battle at times, but I have finally gotten to the point that I can not only see it, but work with it when the time is right; so it is very important to me to have that representation.

Aside from the normal, I have taken up couponing. You know it. I've been impressed with how well it's gone (and how easily), so I'm excited to keep up with this! I actually can't wait to get my hands on the next Sunday Newspaper. =)

Well everyone, I do believe it's just about time to go brush and floss (because oral hygiene is VERY important), and head to bed! It's been nice to sit down and just write again. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I loved putting it all out there! Many blessings to you!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Happy Blog Oracle!

Sorry on the lack of blogs this week... I seem to have lost a few days somewhere!

Today's card is the Swan Queen- R.
When The Swan Queen comes as a challenger (reversed) it is time to stop doubting your inner voice. Don't let your analytical mind stand in the way and prevent you from seeing the miracles right in front of you.
She also reminds us that we need not fear change. Why fear what is inevitable? Especially when fear does nothing but drain us of our own valuable energy. Holding onto the past only distorts and mangles the natural order of things. Do your best to be gentle with yourself, and, in spite of the fear you may feel, what comes forth will be beautiful. Let this create the shift in your perspective that is needed to truly live in the now and flow with the ever changing rhythm of life.

Monday, April 4, 2011

One Angry Witch

So, today I decided to dye my hair. Not a new thing, as I dye my hair every 3 months or so... nothing crazy, just enough to even out my hair color and cover the gray. Well, after discovering some new gray hairs (which I'm totally blaming on the stress of my grandma passing and sick family member visits), I figured it was time for a new application. I used a new brand kind this go round- that Sublime Mousse that has been recently put out. For the love of the Goddess, do not ever, EVER use that crap. Ok, so like I said, I dye my hair a few times a year, and never, ever have a had my hair get that dead straw feeling. Not even after I bleached it and turned around a put stoplight red in it (ahh my teenage years...). It's truly the most atrocious stuff I have ever used. I actually called L'Oreal and complained. I have never done that before, but that's how bad it is and how pissed I was.

My anger has subsided a bit (not much), but I wanted to take the time to make sure no one else makes the mistake of using the product on themselves.

Time to go read a book and find my happy place. =)

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Strange Circle Today

So for our weekly circle, today's lesson was the Science of Magic. A dozy right? Yup, I know. I gave everyone FOUR week (more technically) to prepare their part of the "lesson". I wasn't looking for anything massive, chalked full of huge words and complicated math problems... I just wanted everyones take on Science, Magic, and theories/experiments that have come to light and been preformed. At 11:30 last night, only one other person aside from myself had actually done a lesson. Awesome. So, I got up this morning and did a little bit of "war prep". It seems that every six month or so I have to have the same "I am not here to force-feed you and part of being on this path is learning new things and doing stuff for yourself instead of relying on everyone else" speech. So, as I'm getting ready to leave, I received a few text (all from my "problem children".. go figure), that they wouldn't be at circle today. Now, I know that sound shrewd, and I'm sorry, but after four years of the same "Oops I forgot" or "You know me, I'm an air child!" remarks, I have come to the realization that some people just don't give a shit. They're so comfortable in their lazy, stagnant spiritual life, that they expect everyone else to do all the "work" that is required of running a successful community circle. But Goddess help you if you say something incorrectly or what they believe to be a falsehood.. and they will immediately jump on you and make sure you and everyone else knows how and why you were wrong. Anyway, got to the annex and opened up our room with people filtering in shortly after. Amazingly, the majority of everyone had a lesson! I was anticipating a scary, get your poop in a group kind of circle, and it turned into a really nice lesson. =) That just goes to show that magic does happen!

Ok, rant over, and I feel better. Thanks for listening to me!