Tonight I held my first solitary ritual since stepping down from my role and leader for the military circle I had run for the past 2 1/2 years. I had forgotten what the solitude of self can feel like, and I must say that I enjoyed it immensely. I will forever love group rituals, but after tonight I am reminded of how important it is to practice alone as well.
Something that I did and haven't done in awhile was take the time to gaze into my scrying mirror. I have tried many forms of scrying- water, stones, fire, etc.- and in all my trials I have discovered that that one method at calls to me and works without fail is my black mirror. It was actually a gift from Stephen many Yules ago, and has been my scrying method of choice since then. Just looking at it for a moment will allow most anyone to see the "waves" within the blackness, just waiting to part so that the seeker may seek. I saw many things in my mirror tonight, some of which I asked for, others came unbidden. I was afforded the opportunity to speak with my guide as well as my totem tonight (two separate things for me personally), and was provided some insight on how to go about this new path that I am on, as, admittedly, I've been feeling a little lost. I know the power is within me, it's just been a matter of finding it and working with it now that my rituals have changed so drastically. I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but I at least know what I'm trying to say!
I also made some moon water tonight- something I have neglected to do the past few months. As a dear friend and fellow priestess of mine told me on Samhain while she was acting as messenger for The Morgan, "The Darkness is your friend." Those words have stuck with me since that night (and I apologize for not blogging about it yet!), as the darkness of self is something that I've been learning to recognize and work with, as there can be no light without the darkness. Part of this, going back to the moon water, was also putting a smokey quartz into the water as I charged it with the light of the moon. While the full moon offers illumination at it's fullest, the smokey quartz, to me, represents the darkness that has come over the earth as winter settles in around us (for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere). My goal for this winter, as it will just be me do to the needs of Uncle Sam, is to spend this winter in the blessed solitude of my home and of myself, in hope of finding those things within the darkness that are beneficial, so that I may expand upon them, as well as those thing which hinder, so I can learn to control then do away with them.
Now that my circle is closed, I feel Nyx calling me into a blessed sleep where I I hope to be blessed with dreams of meaning that I will remember upon waking. =)
I hope that you all had a blessed night and that you will take time this winter to embrace the darkness and use the night for a good dose of introspect. You may not always like what you find, but ignoring it will do a hell of a lot more damage that confronting it. Besides, not everything that resides within the darkness is negative.