Tonight I Write...

Ok folks- I was sitting outside and the words just came... 

Tonight I write for me, for you, for the world at large.

A single Soul on the Earth,

Is like living as one among the stars.

Every Soul encountered touches us in someway.

Be it good or bad,

Let it be a lesson just the same.

Some will come and stay,

Others merely passing through.

Always remember with fondness,

Those that have meant something to you.

When it is time to part ways,

Let it be in peace.

For you never know the true path

And the ultimate grand scheme of things.

Let the memory of the good be forever in your keep,

Take the feelings of the bad and lay them to rest in peace.

Life is too short to wonder why,

Always looking behind.

In doing so you cheat yourself,

Of all the greatness still to find.

Next time you sit beneath the stars,

A solitary Soul in this big world of ours,

Remember the choice in how to live

Is yours and yours alone.

Staying impassive when your heart cries

I've spent the last week learning a hard lesson... and it's one that had the potential to ruin something very beautiful. In my desire to protect and defend those that I love, I crossed a line that was not mine to cross. I planned, crafted and weaved some of the most amazing magic of my life, never thinking that what I was doing would be rendered entirely useless, and with the capability to be..... slightly detrimental, because the situation changed very dramatically and suddenly. Then, when it was... somewhat... brought to my attention (I didn't have all the details yet, which made that moment MUCH worse than it had to be), I opened my mouth and didn't think about the words being said until it was too late and the damage was done. The result? A few steps backwards and sideways... not a place I wanted to be... Ever. Now, after spending a weekend stuck in my own head and, quite frankly, being very worried and scared, I have come to re-realize something that I've always known and have always hoped to keep hidden. It is very hard for me to stay impassive and let things be/go when I'm in a hard situation with people I care about... While it is too late to repair some of the damage I've already done, it is not too late to learn, step back, and readress in another way. The hardest thing... I will have to remember to hear my heart without jumping into immediate action. It's a hard wall to put up, especially when it was a wall I willing let go of with the specific individual involved. But, I see now, that some walls, no matter how close a relationship (be it friendship, teacher/student, husband/wife, etc.) must remain in place, at least with certain situations... not only for the well being of the other person, but for the well being of the self. That is not to say that things will be hidden and/or denied, but it does mean that my tendancy to immediately vocalize will become more inwardly pensive before anything comes blurting out without good thought, and that I will (do my best) to not allow my emotions to rule me.. and that's saying someone for me, as the first 5 houses in my astrology chart are all Cancer. Beautiful, I know. LOL!

Anyway. I just needed to get that out there and off my chest.

My Promise to You (should you ever read this):
I will maintain the distance that is necessary until time allows otherwise... I will not garuntee that it will be easy, and that I won't ever put my foot in my mouth again, but damn if I won't do my best. I've asked for your patience before, and I ask again. I am only human.. and even with the work I've done to learn and know, I am CERTAINLY no where near perfect, and prone to make mistakes just as much as any other person- probably more than normal when it is an emotionally charged situation. I'm ready for one day at a time.... for as long as that takes.

It may be a path that is rocky, narrow, winding and steep at times, but I have faith of making it to the top as a team...

Magic, Magic in the air...

Please, before I start, someone tell me that they also "time warp" when doing a ritual! I have no idea how and hour and a half slipped by when I SWEAR it was only, like 30 minutes! ;)

Tonight I performed a new ritual... At the moment, I don't want to go into a full blown detail account, so I'm going to give the "in a nut shell" explanation.

Over time, I have developed some potentially hazardous relationships. At the time, they seamed normal enough, but in retrospect it was a bad road to be walking down and, once I saw that, I ended it. Tonight, I decided that I needed to cleanse myself of these relationships with more than words and thoughts, but also symbolically. I am a huge fan and lover of symbolic actions, and I believe that symbolism has the same power as thought. So, I gathered some paper, a black marker and a "token" (I only had a token from one person, not the two involved, but you go with what you got!) I wrote out the names and spoke my words of power... typically I let these come to me on the spot and often don't write out anything before hand (although I will in a case where it is something big that I have a lot of prep work for). Then I asked for the memories to always be fond but the knowledge that, unless destined otherwise, our paths will remain parted in this life. Then I took my paper and my token and tossed them into the fire (which was ROARING by this point because of the chants and dancing I had done to raise energy) and watched them burn as a reminder to myself of what it costs not only me, but those around me when I do not guard myself, my choices, and lines end up being blurred or crossed (no matter what line or who it was set by) when they shouldn't be. Lessons must always be learned in life, sometimes they just suck more than other ones.

I don't often write out my spell work, and I can't deny being a bit nervous about this post... it's that private side of me. =)

Anyway.. I'm feeling a bit tired now and I think I will go take a nice hot shower and go to bed.

Blessings.