Sleepless in Idaho...

Well, it's 11:30pm and here I am... sitting in front of the computer because I can't sleep. Yes, I know that 11:30 isn't late for many, but for me, it is well past my bedtime. I decided, since I can't seem to get my brain to shut down long enough to attempt to sleep, that I would come write out everything that is on my mind...

In 30 minutes, millions of people on MST will be enjoying the midnight viewing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt 2. Lucky bastards. I remember when I use to be energetic enough to deal with the crowds and madness of midnight showings... it been awhile now. =) As it stands though, I can't wait to go see that movie, which I intend to do next week when it won't be quite so hectic (crowds make me extremely nervous now for whatever reason).

My hubby will be leaving for CST training in just over 3 months, before leaving the states on a six month deployment to the sandbox. He and I have a lot of things happening in the next 3 months... two vacations- one to Philadelphia, PA (1 week) and the other to San Juan (2 weeks), my graduation, his birthday, our daughters birthday, two camping trips, Goddess Fest, sabbats, and a myriad of other things. It is going to be insane. When he gets home next June, we plan on putting the house up for sale... the market is still shitty around here and we would rather the house sell while he is still active duty than us have to sit on a mortgage payment for a year after he retires and we move away. This is largely what has been on my mind... I think that I will go get us a storage room at the beginning of next month, so that we can start packing things and putting them away slowly over the next year, this way the house will be easier to maintain when it is open for walk throughs. I'm also hoping that, prior to his departure, we can finish getting the tile in the upstairs bathroom put on the wall (a decorative border by the tub), though I don't know if time will allow for that... After he returns we will also need to complete the downstairs bathroom remodel, the few minor finishes to the wood flooring we put in, as well as other standard maintenance. At some point, new carpet will also need to go into the few places that still have carpet. I'm so thankful my parents live close by, as my dad is a whizz with house repairs and fix ups! I would like to have a massive yard sale next July/August as well... the less I have to pack up and move, the happier I will be.

My mom and I are suppose to be finding an official location for the bakery this fall/winter as well. The goal is to have the bakery up and running 6 months prior to Stephen retiring... then we won't have to worry about the "in between time". He can retire, and we'll already have an income source without him needing to find a job. He can come be happy and bake, like he has expressed the desire to do. On that note, I am forever in need of guinea pigs when it comes to new baking experiments. If you would like to be one, please let me know. Mom and I want to do mostly cookies, with select pastries, muffins, and other treats. This won't be your sit down barista type of bakery, but the walk in, buy what you need, maybe get a cup of regular coffee, tea, or soda, and head back out. There was a bakery like  that where I went to high school. You could never go there without it be packed. It was still like that when I went back to visit in March. Anyway... the next cookie on my experiment list is called "breakfast on the go". Not like those Oatmeal on the go cookies though... this one will be WAY different, including, but not limited to, having bacon in it. Yup, bacon. YUMMY! I'm looking forward to being done with school and having the time to back something new everyday.

I think that about sums up everything that has been circling my brain... hopefully I will be able to go get some sleep now. Sweet dreams to everyone out there.

Blessings both light and dark.

A Newly Formed Decision

As seems to be the case as of late, I have been absent for a decent length of time. I'm really hoping that, when I finish my final class with school this month, that my "free time" for writing will increase and my stress level will decrease! Now that I'm down to one class though, I'm at least finding my days slightly more manageable then they have been in the past year.

Anyway.. I'm not here to go on about school. Honestly I'd rather not think about it constantly (even though I normally do).

So I have decided, finally decided,that is time for me to step down from my circle. There is finally someone there who is willing and able to take the circle over. I have not confided any of this in the rest of the circle, as I don't want to deal with the - "we don't want to loose you nonsense." The transition will take place around Samhain, as something in my brain is telling me that that is the appropriate time for this. I had an interesting chat with Isis, in regarded to my path and, oddly enough, my name. In the years that have passed since we did the magical name ritual, I have come to realize that who I am is no longer who I was and the name I was given is no longer my own. I was asking Isis about it, when I would know what my name was to become, as a priestess to multiple goddess, and where to go with these new changes. She, in her eloquent way, told me that I would not discover my new name until I freed myself from the role that was no longer mine to have and doing nothing more than holding me back from where I am meant to be. So, yeah, that is where I am at now. In addition to that, I have found myself as a part of a circle in Boise, one was started by a wonderful old crone who left another group after seeing what a load of crapola they were trying to pass off as a goddess path. The two of us and two other women are the whole group, and it is so wonderful and empowering to work with these ladies who are true to themselves and their craft instead of being bogged down by those who are content to be stagnant in their spirituality and more concerned about who has the better story, the funnier joke, or whatever. We typically meet twice a month, once for coffee, talk, and a "business meeting" and again at the end of the month for a goddess ritual. Last month we had a ritual with the goddess Juno, and next month we will be working with the goddess Oya. It's so wonderful and I feel so at home there, something I haven't felt at the base circle in a very long time. I've watched myself become more recluse with each passing month, and I don't like that... It shouldn't be that way, and wouldn't be if I thought circle was of any spiritual benefit anymore. I can say I'm looking forward to Samhain. And to answer a question I'm sure you've wondered at, no, I will not be going back to the circle for any reason. Should the new leader need advise or counsel, that is one thing, but I Will not go back t be a member to the circle after spending the past two years running it, loving it, and hating it.

Now, I'm not trying to bash the circle here, just that it is simply no longer my place. It happens. It will be hard, to be sure, but it is also necessary.

Just thought I would share this!

Brightest Blessings to you all!

Blessed Litha!

Today marks the time of the suns power and strength in the Earth before he begins his ascent again to order to sacrifices himself for the good of mankind and it's continual to survival. We will rejoice his rebirth at Yule, when the morning sun rises and begins to stay with us longer and longer through the day. Take time to reflect on what you have accomplished this year and what is left to be done before the cold roles in again and we move the majority of our workings indoors around the hearth and celebrate our families.

I don't know about other parts of the globe, but today was truly the first real summer day we have had out here in the state of Idaho. It was truly a wonderful time for our circle's Litha gathering and worth a few good laughs as we all realized we were sweating under the kiss of the the glorious sun rays.

Enjoy the warmth and sunshine, and remember to give thanks for life.

Oh Happy Day!

So, this is nothing more than a quick toot of my own horn... BUT...

I have 30 public followers on my blog! YEAH!

Just thought I would throw that out there. LOL!

Good People, Bad People

Last night, as I took my "lobster hot shower" (as my hubby and I jokingly call it due to the extreme heat), I mulled over the events of the day... the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have come to several conclusions that I would like to share with you.
First my quote to sum it all up, "...the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on." (Have I never mentioned that I'm a Harry Potter nerd? LOL!)

Despite my nerd-dom, the above statement is true. There is no defining line between good and bad, right and wrong. HOWEVER, it is up to each and every individual to make the choice that will define their actions as either good or bad. Given that, I beseech each and every one of you to make the conscious choice everyday, for all things big and small, to make the decision to act kindly and remember the 3 fold law, or karma, or whatever you want to call it. I will be the first to admit that I can have a flash fire of a temper, but the last thing I want is to be lumped into a group of vindictive and hateful brats that no one wants anything to do with unless it involves a nice throttle.

Secondly, I am happy to report that my phone has not rang once this morning for any reason other than my hubby calling me to tell me about an appointment he went to. So far there have been no reported disasters, emergency, or other problems to deal with and counsel others through. I'm hoping to have a nice morning filled with school work (which I HAVE been working on as well as this blog!).

Seriously folks?

Ok, so I'm just getting caught up on all this insane "spiritual warfare" nonsense that has been claimed because of Top 25 Mom Faith Blogs contest on Circle of Moms (click here ---> http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/faith ). I'm really dumbfounded. I mean, seriously? So much for reflecting the love of Christ through the actions of self.

So, here's the skinny... I'm not going to repeat the same thing that a lot of other bloggers have already covered, but this is what I have for you in a nut shell....

We live in a big world. HUGE. Guess what...? We all have different beliefs. Yup, I said it. DIFFERENT BELIEFS. The best part- You don't have to like it!! ....but dammit be nice to each other. I don't give a crap if you think you're Satan incarnate and it is your job to consume one of every alcoholic beverage and every drug out there during your life. I also don't care if you believe you are the latest profit of God here to spread the message about how the world was really created. WHO CARES?! Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, just as they are entitled to have those beliefs respected (no matter how much you don't like them or how silly you think they are). So to all my awesome readers (and those that come with an open mind!!), I love you and I pray and rejoice that your path is perfect for you. To all the haters that are more concerned about Faith bashing then actually representing the god(s) you follow, how about you grow up and go do some real good self-reflection so that you may learn from the error of your ways... When you can be serious and act as Christ or whomever (..cause remember WWJD?) would act, then maybe I'll view you as something more than the irritating rock in my shoe. Ignorance is not an excuse. Go learn something about those that you so adamantly despise. You just might learn something about yourself in the process (like maybe being a decent human being to people that don't meet your religious criteria?).

Good night and blessings to all!

What the bloody fuck?

So, it's just been when of those stupid days that makes you think "What the fuck?!". The day started with a phone call from an old circle member who recently moved away. Apparently her school books were mailed to her old address and she asked if I would go pick them up and forward them on. No biggie. Drove by her house and the books weren't there. Wait... the books aren't there?! Yeah- no idea where they ended up, but they were no where to be found. Followed up that whole deal with a bombshell of an email from another circle member talking about how they needed someone to talk to because of marital issues that were going on. Mind, the couple in question are both friends of mine, so that's a not-so-fun position to be put in, but as a circle leader, it's one of my responsibilities. So, listening to my friend talk and discovering that they have been feeling this way for almost five years. Are you kidding me?! So now, I'm chatting with my friend and talking about options. They call their spouse and talk to them for awhile.. then the spouse contacts me. LOVELY. "He just told me he loves me but feels no emotional connection to me!!!" Well shit. So, I asked, "Do you love him?" Of course the answer was yes, so I told her the same thing I had essentially told him (just with a lot fewer words)... if you love him, then work on the problems with him. I have yet to hear back from her, and I think she may be more upset that he spoke to me before her... I don't know. I know that those two have given me a headache. *sigh* Moving on... so, after those two issues, I get a call from yet another circle friend saying that the doctors have ordered an MRI for her because they believe she has a blood clot and/or tumor in her brain. OH MY FUCKING GOD CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?! Yes, as a matter of fact it can. Stephen and I managed to make it through dinner without any incidents, but the phone rang almost immediately after we finished... now, for those of you who read my last post, you know I was gone all last week to tend to a death in the family. A bit more detail- it was my husband's uncle... one of two on his mother's side. We got back very late on Saturday night. Well, his mom called tonight to let us know that his other Uncle passed away today. Now, you're probably staring at the computer screen in disbelief, because DAMN. But, as much as I wish it were just some sick joke, it's not. My mother-in-law went from having two siblings to being an only child in a two week period. Stephen has told me that for the rest of the night we're not allowed to answer the phone or any emails sent our way because he refuses to let any more crazy into the house. =) Oh, but let's not forget that I got an email from my dear friend (in response to the prayer request I sent out for our friend with the head problem) that she and her husband were feet away from a drive by shooting this week. Oh, and of course, let's not forget the other circle member who ran out of pain meds and was in such pain today that she couldn't move and got into a fight with her wife and told me she might have to camp out with me for a few days. *MASSIVE SIGH* This day just needs to be over now... I think it's time for some migraine pills! And I'm off...