Monday, February 14, 2011

A Discovery of Death

I got a call from my mom tonight to let me know that my grandmother has passed away. For a little bit of family background, I have not seen my grandmother since the age of ten, and the only time I've talked to her was shortly after my daughter was born and she sent a ten dollar check so I could get her something. My grandmother, by her own choice, segregated herself from her entire family. That being said, after my mother told me that she passed away, she proceeded to tell me that it apparently happened back on October 1st, 2010. The only reason we found out was because my great uncle, grandma's brother, was calling the family to find out who was going to be responsible for cleaning out her home and taking care of her belongings. Yeah, that pissed me off a wee-bit, but that is not the point of this blog... I have, or had rather, no sense of connection to my grandma, and no real love outside of the fact that she is family. As I sit here and type this, I can feel within my soul that my grandmother died as she lived, a very lonely and sad woman that felt the world was against her. So, I write... I write this to ask for help because, in all my time on this path, I have never had to deal with something quite like this. I have already planned a small candle memorial for her, but I know there is something more I should be doing to help guide her soul to the other side so that she may find peace and be reborn into what is hopefully a happier life. However, whether my mind is fogged due to the heavy amount of cold medication I'm on (cause you know that right now is the PERFECT time to be sick), or for one of many other reasons, I seem to be falling short in the "what to do now" area. Any suggestions would be welcomed....


  1. Sorry for your loss...

    Light the candle, sit in silence and wait. The answer will be there.

  2. Obviously a difficult time in more ways than one. I agree with Diandra's advice. And the answer may be slow in coming, and may reveal itself in unexpected ways.

  3. Thanks you two. I am going to have to be patient on this one... though I wish I didn't need to be. The overwhemling feeling of loneliness that I feel projected into me from all this is a bit suffocating, I can't deny. But, as always, my goddess will not let me down in providing the answers that seem just out of reach right now.